“Living always looked alternatively insignificant, instead of better occurrences, except that my relationships together with birth of your youngsters. Rather, ever since We happened to start remaining a log, We appear to have found that a word otherwise a keen intonation shall be exactly as very important, or maybe more, compared to things our company is familiar with believe very important. ”
When we can learn how to understand the tiniest points that occurs every single day, after that perhaps we are able to learn how to it is understand the secret definition off lifetime
For the November 1950 40 –three-year-dated Valeria Cossati purchases a black laptop computer out of good tobacconist – a good “forbidden” item due to the fact tobacco cigarette isn’t allowed to promote far from cigarette to help you their users. Their own record records give us a window to the Valeria’s home, their particular loved ones, and Valeria by herself as reported across the second 6 months. Valeria’s lives spins as much as her family – their particular partner Michele, and her a couple grown up college students Riccardo and you can Mirella. Economically he is providing by the however they are perhaps not really-off. Valeria isn’t only a housewife plus will supplement their particular husband’s earnings- an undeniable fact that try frowned-upon because of the her very own mom whoever family comes from much more wealthy roots. Valeria are involved inside a normal wedding even with their particular getting the versatility to be hired. She is conflicted but not able to share their unique true thinking, truthfully so long as it would fracture new sensitive equilibrium she’s oriented within her family relations more frequently not within costs of stifling her own wishes and you may wishes.
“We often resource have a desire to confide when you look at the an income people, not only in so it laptop. But I’ve never been capable. Stronger than the desire in order to confide ‘s the concern with damaging something that I was constructing every day, having twenty years, the only thing We has.”
She plus shares their unique improving friendship that have a colleague, a relationship that does not come with good preconceived selection of expectations, in the place of all the her other relationships
Valeria is actually stressed and you may consumed from the thinking regarding shame and fears one to their particular secret record would-be found. Many times during the their journal she shares just how tough it’s to own their unique to full cover up that it journal and exactly how she features modifying where she possess they. She yearns to have an excellent “space” that she will be able to call her very own – her room is occupied of the their own partner exactly who uses date listening in order to tunes otherwise reading-in their leisure time, their people has actually her room and you can the woman is remaining so you’re able to establish their records later in the day immediately following individuals are sleeping inside ongoing anxiety about are discover.
“Since when I write in that it laptop computer, I believe I’m committing a serious sin, a good sacrilege: it’s because if I was indeed talking-to the brand new demon. Starting it, my hands tremble; I’m afraid. We see the white profiles, the brand new dense synchronous lines willing to get the chronicle out-of my future weeks, plus ahead of I have lived all of them, I’m troubled. I’m sure you to my personal responses for the items I take note of in more detail direct me to learn me personally alot more closely each and every day. Maybe you’ll find individuals who, understanding themselves, have the ability to improve; however the most useful I know me, the more lost I be.”
Valeria’s “forbidden” computer, proves to be a store having their own really personal opinion, a place she will release their frustrations, rage, and you may frustration on their particular matrimony, her partner, their own children and lives overall. Valeria’s diary provides their a vocals as well as the possible opportunity to end up being herself and learn by herself even in the event the woman is unable to display a similar with anyone. Valeria problems since she shows on her relationships and you will tries to store the values and you will beliefs she’s got adhered to all the their lives. She is unable to reconcile for the way her college students, their child specifically chooses to lead their particular. Their husband attributes her disputes that have Marilla to help you “maternal jealousy” which provides you a concept of just how marginalized Valeria is during her very own domestic.